Author: Thoughts and Poetry

Hello there and welcome to my page. I'm an amateur in this world. I love writing and reading on my free time. Here, you will find some poetry I have written through the years among brief stories that described what I experienced at some point in time accompanied with some fiction. Not only do I write poetry in English, but I also write in Spanish, which is my mother tongue. I hope you enjoy reading and if you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to let me know. Thank you for reading!

Wounds

Allow the horrid memories to dissolve

Time after time she kept telling herself

to abandon the past, forgo her fears

But the memories made their presence

Through solitude and tears

Pictures so vivid, sharp as blades

down memory lane

She cannot control the wave of emotions

the light of the pain

How the wounds appear so small

And are the ones to blame.

-Lynne J

Decisions

Her body laying on the bed
permeated with dough
Her love protruding from the edges
whilst tears capped the wooden floors
Days of agony and desolation
anticipated her return
With a void in her heart
she walked through the door
The stranger from within
pleaded for a breath of air
fighting with her heart
to free her from despair

Lynne J


A little too late

I wrote many letters for the course of a month. My feelings and way of thinking filled each line. Words that I did not have the courage to say or the tears I did not want to spill decorated the paper. Each word, each thought brought the paper alive. I witness each tear drop become dry with each blow of air as it made contact with my notebook, and how my words smeared with the ink but I did not care. I wanted you to see how much I was willing to do for you. How much I desired for your feelings to be as strong and real as mine but I did not stand a chance. You coveted a single kiss, a caress, or a simple stroke on the cheek that I could not give to you. Years of waiting got you tired, desperate, anxious, and lonely. It took me some time to get to you, but by that time, I was already too late. You had already experimented with love and the flood of emotions it brings, and you loved it. You loved how much someone you lust for surrenders their body onto you and opens up like a flower, willing to feed its most hungry hummingbird. But you also cherished the most intense of pains, and prized them with honor for it wasn’t for them, you would not be alive. And this is exactly what I inflicted on you: pain. Pain for waiting for someone who was not ready to commit, who was conflicted on the inside and battled with her contradicting emotions. Pain for not being able to echo the voices of my heart and to give it was it was longing for. All in all, it was too late to accept my feelings and to give them a chance to flourish and make their way to you.

New Beginnings

You and I were sitting on the couch. It was a chilly afternoon. I drove to your house to see how you were feeling, as “not feeling great” was your every day excuse to not see me. I wanted to see you, to confront my feelings, your behavior but I was not up for the challenge. I did not want to upset you. I did not want to be pushed away. I did not want to feel the emptiness all over again, so I stood quiet. The more I remained silent, the more my heart wanted to say, but I hindered. It was a typhoon of emotions severing everything in its path, and with it my heart eroded. Our eyes locked but I did not see my reflection. It was a blank stare into nothingness. Was that what I became to you? Silence filled the room, our hearts beating in unison but we no longer carried the same note. I gathered my broken pieces and fought the courage to ask the most dreaded question of them all:

“Are you happy?”

You did not say a word. You shifted position and sat upright. Your eyes did not break contact with the stain on the floor. I feared for the worst and that was exactly what I obtained. You nodded your head and looked into my eyes again and simply said,

“No.”

Nothing else came out of your lips as you inhaled and exhaled. Yet you wanted to say more. You chewed on your bottom lip, my favorite place, nervous of what was to happen. But deep inside you wanted this. It would have been selfish of my part not to give you what you coveted. The more I persisted in making our relationship work, the less aware I became of my surroundings. You consumed me and sucked me into your world. Nothing was left of me but I learned to evolve through empty patches with the hope of one day filling them in with love and affection. I painted greener grass over rotten flowers, hoping for a new beginning. But that beginning could only happen by putting an end to you and me. I thought I could not live without you. The truth is, I was dying slowly with you by my side. I exhausted my heart to receive scraps in return. It dwelled off of that and I learned.